Landlady Quotes

I wrote some of the best ones down, for posterity. (As Andrea will attest to, Mary also has many incredible stories, and she is hysterically funny when sharing them.) Along with those stories, she spouts out some great quotables:

(After I’d taken a picture a little too early)
“Oops! Premature ejaculation!”

“Equestrians just like to have something between their legs.”

“I sometimes think I went into the wrong profession. I should’ve been a hooker.”

“Sometimes I wonder when I’ll go into grandma mode, where I retire and start putting photos into albums.”
“But then you wouldn’t be Mary anymore.”
“Oh, you’re damn right.”

(Hanging out with her and her friend, laughing and drinking wine)
“As you can tell, we really haven’t gained all that much wisdom. Being wise is overrated anyway. I’d rather be funny.”

“There are not enough songs about middle-aged women. I’m going to start a pop group and call it Menopausal Mommas.”

I miss her already, as if you couldn’t tell.