Southern Germany, Meet the Southern USA

For my first thank-you-for-continuing-to-house-me-under-these-absurd-circumstances hostess gift, I have prepared southern-style banana puddin’. I’m posting the recipe here to practice for my next blog, where I will talk about food and everything else I already talk about, but in an all-American setting.

Normally I would credit Paula Deen for the following recipe, but I’m angry with her for endorsing Smithfield, a company that treats its livestock and its employees about as well as the thousands of tons of toxic waste it deposits into our water system each year. So, ha! I found a different recipe, a generic one, one that I don’t associate with senseless murder and environmental destruction. Without further ado:

Kill ‘Em with Kindness Banana Puddin’
adapted from this recipe

• 6 ounces of instant vanilla pudding (Apologies for the powdered mix, but I was already doing some major converting and recipe manipulation and thought that involving a double boiler to make vanilla pudding from scratch was just too much. Also, do not underestimate the power of condensed milk in turning processed sugary silt into a cold taste of heaven.)
• 2 cups of cold milk
• 1/2 cup of cold heavy cream, plus whipped cream for topping
• 14 ounces of cold condensed milk
• sliced bananas
• vanilla wafer cookies (Or, when unable to read the foreign language label, go with whatever looks delicious and buttery and willing to absorb deadly-delicious pudding.)

1) Use a blender to combine the pudding mix, milk, and cream.
2) Add the condensed milk.
3) Cover the bottom of a large pan or Tupperware with cookies. Layer bananas on top, then add half of the pudding.
4) Repeat the process, ending with pudding. Top with remaining whipped cream.

Eat. Rejoice. Enter food coma. Maybe run some laps the next day so you don’t turn into banana puddin’ yourself.